Baby, can we keep a chicken on the balcony? it'll only be for a week.

I’m starting to make my husband nervous. I guess I forgot to mention that he’s not a fan of drawing attention to himself on occasions like birthdays. Let’s just say he’s afraid because he knows what I’m capable of. That said, I would never ever dream of organizing a party for him, like one I would organize for myself. Because, I’m a ham (and also because I love pink and anything that glitters). Anyway, I’ve been trying my hardest to keep my masterplan as secret as possible when you’re sharing a one bedroom apartment with the person. So basically, this means me giving my husband the side-eye every time he approaches my computer and asks me what I’m doing. Today he states: for four days now you’ve been at your computer, all I hear is typing and you won’t tell me what’s going on – I’m nervous about what’s going to happen. (And I’m all like, you will NOT break me!)

A propos husband’s birthday: I feel like I’m embarking on an endeavor of a life time. I am very excited. A little insight into the mind at hand: Birthday = Celebrating my husband = PARTY = inviting people over = making food = FEEDING (obviously!). I having been perfecting the menu over the last few days (like I said already), and I rarely say this, or feel this, but I feel like I might be biting off more than I can chew. Noticing myself think like is highly disconcerting. I mean this is coming from the mind of someone who regularly decides to embark on large amounts untested recipes before a shindig. Actually, come to think of it, this person often has parties just so that she can test out large amounts of untested recipes that she has somehow thematically linked together. Call me crazy, but I’ve never made anything twice for party hosted at my place. If I do repeat a recipe for dinner hosted at my place, it’s never with guests who have already tasted it. I repeat by request only.

I may remind some of you (and inform others) that several years ago, before cupcakes we’re in, I hosted a cupcake tasting at my apartment where I made close to 10 varieties of cupcakes, equaling about 200 cupcakes never having used any of the recipes, let alone making a proper cupcake not from a box (for shame!). During the process there were only two disasters 1) I forgot to mix in two ingredients, because I was delirious at 11:00pm from baking for 15hours, and consequently had to scrap a batch of cupcakes; and 2) a whole tray of lemon meringue cupcakes fell to the ground half an hour before guest arrived – which was upsetting, but clearly not a baking related issue. I have some weird sort of blind faith when it comes to my cooking/baking ability.

Anyway… as far as I can tell my master plan requires me to make about 5 liters, yes, liters of one particular type of filling. My earliest calculations, estimate that I may need close to 50 eggs. Thank God produce is dirt cheap in this country. 10 eggs will cost you no more than 2.6zs, at the current exchange rate that’s like 1$. I can afford 5 bucks for eggs. If I we’re in Canada I think I’d want to cry right now, just looking at the budget. Thankfully, due to the over-abundance of time I have on my hands, I have decided to spread prep time over the span of a week. Every day, I will be making something that is related to this party. This is a luxury, as I’m used to doing the same amount of work in one evening and 1 working day (when I used to have a day job). This is why I always host my parties on Saturdays. It gives me the entire time from when I get home on Friday to when guest arrive. Evening and morning is baking, afternoon is assembly, cleaning and getting ready. I also do large amounts of decorating (if required) during the week before the party. This plan usually works out, but requires me having a tight schedule, where a shower, getting ready and a nap are included. It’s a well oiled machine, baby.

Anyway, stay tuned. I will be posting all the recipes once I’m done, as the menu itself is a secret, and on the off-chance my husband actually reads my blog, I can’t tell you what this extravaganza will be looking like in advance. All I can say is that I’m pushing myself to the limit. It will be amazezazing.

And as for the cupcake recipes, for those of you who have asked, I’ll be posting some of those too, once the rest of my stuff sails across the ocean. <3

Calling all technologically inept

Anyone who knows me knows I love to cook, almost as much as I love to feed people. So, as with any proper blog written by yours truly, I will dedicate part of this blog to my culinary adventures. Yes Julie, the butterscotch pancake recipe will appear. But for now, some trouble shooting…

Finally, a month into my move, I have managed to figure out my stove top. I love my new kitchen. It is far superior to kitchens that belonged to me in the past. The one problem with my lovely new Krakow kitchen, a problem that makes me see past the abundant counter space (for apt standards) and ample cupboards, is how finicky my new gas stovetop is. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited to be switching from electric to gas, as it lets me control the temperature more accurately. Unfortunately, my stovetop has one thing that isn’t going for it, the elements turn on fine, but getting them to stay on is one-half skillful, steady hand, and one-half answered prayer: “Please God, don’t make me make dinner on one small burner, again!” Luckily, one month in, I seem to be perfecting my skill, which requires a weird hand movement that very carefully regulates the pressure when releasing the knob.

I can’t say so much about my oven. The oven in a European gas stove boggles the mind. I’m not sure what it is, but suddenly I’m feeling like I don’t do so well with appliances. I remember our first day in our apartment in Krakow. I walked into the bathroom, took one look at the laundry machine with its dozens of settings, buttons, knobs and lights, and said to my husband “So, you’re doing the laundry.” I have managed to do the laundry since, but I have to read the manual every time. So far nothing has gone horribly awry, except for one ill-fated cream towel, which I turned light blue. That’s the first time something like that has happened to me in 15 years of doing laundry. At this point, I didn’t even think it COULD happen to me.

So yes, my oven. First of all of the temperature settings are in Celsius. As sad as its sounds, despite being Canadian and apparently “using” the metric system, I’m accustomed to using Fahrenheit in all my baking. So I’m stuck converting all my recipes. Annoyance aside, I’m sure that I’ll be able to get used to it. The bigger complication is that gas ovens in Poland come in two types: z thermobiegem and bez thermobiegem. This basically means they either have a heating plate on the top and bottom, or they only have a heating plate on the bottom. All polish recipes are written for the latter type, as dual plate ovens are recent inventions. Here’s the thing, I’ve read the manual in Polish and in English and it still does not work how it’s supposed to, regardless of the thermobieg. Ovens are notoriously finicky pieces of machinery. Did you know that baking temperature varies according to climate and position of the oven in reference to sea level? How am I supposed to account for these variations if I can’t even turn the thing on properly?! And needless to say with certain events coming up soon, like my husband’s birthday, I’d better figure out how to work the thing.

In the meantime, I leave you all with a oven-free, stove top safe (provided it turns and stays on) recipe.

Super Simple Quick Polish Tomato Soup

I love this soup. I could eat it every day. I make it whenever I need a taste of home. Actually, this soup was the frist thing I cooked for my husband when we arrived in Kraków. This recipe adapted from my mom’s recipe, which seems to be a classic Polish recipe.

Ingredients:

• Włoszczyzna (if you don’t live in Poland this roughly amounts to 2 carrots, 1 small leek (a small to medium cooking onion will also do), 1 celery stalk (or a piece of celery root, if you can find it), 1 piece of Italian cabbage and 1 parsnip (this is optional, but my mom adds it, and therefore, so do I)
• 1-2 chicken or beef bouillon cubes
• 1-2 litres of water
• 200-300 grams of 30% tomato paste
• Small soup noodles
• Smietana do zupy ( if outside of Poland you can either use sour cream or whipping cream)
• A handful of parsley or dill

How to:

Place the vegetables in a large pot and cover with water. Don’t worry if some of the vegetables start to float, just make sure there is enough water that all the vegetables are covered when forced to the bottom of the pot.

Place the pot on the stove on medium-low heat and bring to a boil. Boil covered until vegetables are soft (a fork slides through the centre without resistance). At this point you can remove the vegetables from the stock. I like to keep them in until I’m done cooking. I remove them, chop them into bite size pieces and put them back in the soup. Some people, however, prefer this soup without the vegetables.

In another pot, cook pasta until al dente, strain, rinse with cold water, strain again and save for later.

Add 1 bouillon cube and half of the tomato paste to the vegetable stock. The amount of tomato paste will vary depending on the amount of vegetable stock in the pot. You will want to add the rest slowly, tasting the soup as you go, to make sure that it has a distinct tomato flavor. If you find that after adding all the paste, that the tomato flavor isn’t strong enough, add another bouillon cube, this usually does the trick. Keep adding boullion until you get the desired taste, but be careful, bouillon cubes have a lot of sodium, so the more you add the saltier the soup will get. This is why I don’t add salt to this soup.

Put a desirable amount of pasta in a soup bowl (in my house we like some soup with our pasta). Cover with soup. Add the cream directly to the individual soup bowl, (this will allow any leftover soup to keep in the refrigerator for longer – it keeps up to 3 days.) I find 1/2 - 1 tablespoon is enough for 1 large soup bowl. Note that depending on which cream you use the texture will be slightly different, North American sour cream has a tendency to thicken. If you want a thicker texture add some flour or cornstarch mixed with water to the soup, while stirring constantly. (Otherwise noodles/lumps will form).

Chop a healthy amount of parsley or dill and place on top.

Serve, stir, enjoy <3

Tuesday, like monday, only a day later.

Starting a blog is like going on a blind date: awkward.

I’m going to be honest: this is not my first post. No. this is a post, I feel obligated to write, because the other posts already ready for publishing do not make sense to put up as my first. So, here I am in front of my computer racking my brain what to write in this post. Firstly hello and thanks for stopping by.

It's been a month since I moved to Krakow, and finally, I’m getting to the writing of this blog. I imagined in the long anticipatory period prior to my move, that I would create this blog, and channel my inner artist, who has been, more or less, dormant for the last, I'd say, 3 years (no. wedding crafts do not count.). I had this vision of myself running around in, obviously, hip clothing with my recently purchased (at the Great Glebe Garage Sale) manual camera, taking avant-garde black and white photos of interesting stuff. Stuff that I would later scan and place on this blog. So, of course it is ironic that today, of all days, I’m starting this project - a project I refuse to just dream or talk about: a project, I’m resolved to just do. Today, when I’m lying on my bed in excruciating abdominal pain. Leftover Chinese food seems to be the culprit, so far as I can tell. Needless to say, I'm typing this from a horizontal position, accompanied by the obnoxiously loud sounds of renovation coming from the neighboring apartment. Apparently 2pm in the afternoon is just as good a time as any to drill into tile for several hours. The noise is so loud, at first, I thought it was coming from outside. So much for taking a nap to sleep this off.

Krakow is beautiful; from my apartment I can see Wawel Castle. Between the castle and my apartment runs the Wisła (Vistula) river, which divides Poland from north (the Baltic Sea) to south (Tatra Mountains). The land on Wawel hill has been settled since the 4th century, AD, according to archeological remains. Earliest settlement has been placed as far back as 100 BC. The castle itself was erected in the 11th century AD, and was the coronation place of all Polish Monarchs, up until the 18th century. Among its many attractions, it contains a crypt where all the Polish Monarchs have been laid, and the lair of the Smok Wawelski, (Wawel Dragon), who, according to legend, ravaged the countryside every day. Apperantly, the dragon could not be defeated by any prince in the land (all the princes sucked at dragon-slaying). He also had a particularily infamous taste for young women. Only after eating one, would he leave the people and their land alone. So the people started feeding him their daughters on a daily basis( talk about a utilitarian society). This went on until only one young woman left - the king's daughter (obviously). As the story goes, the king promised his daughter's hand to anyone who might slay the dragon. A young, poor cobbler finally volunteered for the job. He set out a lamb filled with sulfur before the dragon's lair. After eating the lamb, the dragon became extremely thirsty. So thirsty, in fact, that he drank half the Wisła and exploded. Obviously, the cobbler married the princess. You can still visit the dragon's lair, which is in the caves below Wawel.

Wawel is just one of the amazing things awaiting discovery in this city. Every morning I wake up and see the view from my window, and think, I live here. /I/ actually LIVE here. I can't wait to share more with you once I’m feeling better. There's no lack of inspiration in this city. <3>